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Absolute Johannes factotum

Allison Eckhart (?)
SCP-2565, designated "Allison Eckhart," is a former field agent who now possesses an unusual anomalous property where anything associated with her, including herself, her belongings, and even concepts related to her, is perceived as "Allison Eckhart." This means that objects like her personal items are seen as if they are Allison Eckhart herself, leading to extreme confusion and ethical dilemmas for anyone interacting with them. The anomaly is spreading, potentially through the atmosphere, and poses a risk of a global event where everything could eventually be perceived as "Allison Eckhart," leading to a complete breakdown of understanding and societal function.
McDonald's urban legends (?)
The article discusses various urban legends surrounding the fast-food chain McDonald's, which often involve claims about unusual or unethical ingredients in their food, as well as allegations of discrimination or other cultural issues. These widespread but untrue stories include rumors that McDonald's uses ingredients like earthworms, cow eyeballs, human meat, or "mutant laboratory meat" in their products, or that their apple pies are made with chayotes instead of apples. Other legends suggest that pickles are added to cheeseburgers solely to prevent them from being classified as confectionery, or that the company has been involved in funding terrorism, practicing racism, or converting playgrounds into cannabis lounges.
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